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Dating someone with a traumatic childhood

This is a guest post by Denisa Millette. As a forensic expert on childhood trauma assessment, I frequently work with children whose lives have been shattered by a traumatic event and are now dominated by a constant sense of danger and frightening emotions. Many of them avoid social interactions and may isolate themselves. They are likely to see themselves as bad and unworthy, and may be at risk for harming themselves. Some are often viewed by others as being irritable, hostile, or aggressive.
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How Childhood Trauma May Affect Your Dating Choices

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Things To Keep In Mind When Dating Someone with PTSD | BetterHelp

Survivors of childhood trauma deserve all the peace and security that a loving relationship can provide. But a history of abuse or neglect can make trusting another person feel terrifying. Trying to form an intimate relationship may lead to frightening missteps and confusion. How can we better understand the impact of trauma, and help survivors find the love, friendship and support they and their partner deserve? Whether the trauma was physical, sexual, or emotional, the impact can show up in a host of relationship issues. Survivors often believe deep down that no one can really be trusted, that intimacy is dangerous, and for them, a real loving attachment is an impossible dream. Many tell themselves they are flawed, not good enough and unworthy of love.
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Are You Dating Someone With PTSD? Things To Keep In Mind when Dating Someone with PTSD

We date them. We marry them. We have children with them.
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Childhood is the prime time for brain development and the time when people typically learn to have healthy attachments and a stable sense of love and security. However, when a person experiences something traumatic during childhood, it can interrupt their brain development and skew their sense of healthy relationships. Every person deserves to have healthy, loving relationships that they can rely on for support throughout their lives. However, a survivor of childhood abuse, trauma, or neglect may have a more difficult time forming these healthy relationships because of their negative perceptions of the people who have hurt them in the past. It is not uncommon for someone who survived trauma to end up in an unhealthy relationship.
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